Why the f*ck couldn't I have been the Obama puppy.
HILARIOUS. From Pets who want to kill themselves.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Obama puppy?
Why the f*ck couldn't I have been the Obama puppy.
HILARIOUS. From Pets who want to kill themselves.
Drama thy name is
You want drama? Head down to the plains of east Alabama, to Auburn.
How's this for drama:
The Tigers' past two coaches – Terry Bowden and Tommy Tuberville – have been successful, yet were forced to resign.
Auburn officials tried to go under the table to fire Tuberville and hire Bobby Petrino in 2003.
Auburn went undefeated in 2004 and got left out of the BCS championship game.
Tuberville fired two offensive coordinators in less than a year.
A New York Times story a few years ago accused Auburn of giving football players high grades without requiring them to attend class.
Rather than go for a win in the 1988 Sugar Bowl, former coach Pat Dye opted to a kick a field goal to notch a 16-16 tie against unbeaten Syracuse and kill any claims the Orange had on the national championship.
Auburn has been on major NCAA probation seven times.
Auburn alum Charles Barkley charged racism when the school hired Gene Chizik to replace Tuberville without interviewing Buffalo's Turner Gill.
So there you have it. Drama, thy name is Auburn.
From the notebook of Albert Press
Bama Fans Who Love to Watch Auburn Fail Association, founding member
Monday, March 16, 2009
Missing Texas already
So excuse me for getting a little sappy in this entry. I just arrived back from a bar mitzvah/family reunion/PAAAAAAAAAAAAARTY in Dallas, Texas. While the rain managed to follow us all the way to Texas and back, we didn't let that stop us from having a honky tonk good time.
I will start with a short list of things I did this weekend for the first time:
1. Danced the "Cotten Eye Joe" in a 50s style polka-dot dress in front of 75 people.
2. Woke up before 7 am after sleeping less than 4 hours three days in a row
3. Ate bagels and lox and drank zinfindel at the same meal
4. Watched a fine film about the gay movement in the 70s called "The Cockettes" starring a distant family member with my family.
5. Danced in red high heals
6. Flew on a delayed flight only to circle the airport for 45 minutes before landing
7. Drank locally-made beer with a distant cousin and several locals at a bar in Allen, Texas
9. Got in trouble for not wearing shoes in a synogogue
10. Sat inside a car made in 1929
11. Listened to the Grateful Dead only station on satellite radio in a Dodge Avenger
12. Danced to a Jonas Brother song with a group of tweenagers
13. Supplied alcohol to minors (dont worry, their parents gave me permission)
14. Ate a chocolate covered strawberry (and didn't like it!)
15. Got to party in a room full of Elvises, Jerry Garcias, Jackie Kennedys, Audrey Hepburns, Scarlett O'Haras, 1920s style gangers, hippies, 50s dancers, flapper girls, Pink Ladies and 80s punk-rockers
During my Aunt Lois' funeral a few months ago I realized how out of touch I had become with my family. Family from Dallas, New Jersey and even local residents gathered to mourn her death, and many I didn't recognize because of years of seperation and lack of contact. That weekend, I made a pledge that in memory of my aunt I would make strides to reconnect with my family. And I did.
The bar mitzvah in Dallas turned into a family reunion of sorts. All three nights I found myself in a hotel hospitality room or at the bar next door laughing myself into tears with my long-lost family. I had become so bored with my life in Atlanta, just going through the motions that I forgot the magic of 'the little things in life.' Thank god I was reminded this weekend.
Now that I am back home, I feel alive again. I am walking around with a smile on my face, chuckling to myself as I recall quips and moments from this weekend. Cousin Jay's impression of Aunt Lois was right on, and my cousin Leslie reminds me of, well, me, seven ago when I too was packing my bags and moving away from home for the first time to go to college. Cousin Ross is well on his way to being the next Jay Leno and Cousin Jay could do a nightly show on the Vegas Strip with his ability to captivate a room with his entertaining stories. For the first time in a long time I was inspired by something other than sports to write about on this blog. I think I saw my Uncle Howard laugh for the first time since losing Aunt Lois.
Ten glasses of wine, 12 cousins, eight meals, two hotel rooms, three sleepless nights, two pairs of VERY uncomfortable of high-healed shoes and one delayed flight later I am re-energized. For the first time in a long time I was too busy laughing with my family to be bothered with TV. And I actually laughed until it hurt so much that all I could do was laugh some more.
My job doesn't seem so awful anymore and my SLOOOOOOOW computer is not making me pull my hair out. Traffic isn't making my skin crawl and my own bed has never been more comfortable. Yes, I have been revitialized this weekend and I needed it.
Thank you to all who attended this weekend for making me laugh and reminding me what it truly means to be happy. I will never forget this weekend. Aunt Lois wouldn't have had it any other way.
** "If I died yesterday, I never would've known about this place." -Aunt Lois ***
I will start with a short list of things I did this weekend for the first time:
1. Danced the "Cotten Eye Joe" in a 50s style polka-dot dress in front of 75 people.
2. Woke up before 7 am after sleeping less than 4 hours three days in a row
3. Ate bagels and lox and drank zinfindel at the same meal
4. Watched a fine film about the gay movement in the 70s called "The Cockettes" starring a distant family member with my family.
5. Danced in red high heals
6. Flew on a delayed flight only to circle the airport for 45 minutes before landing
7. Drank locally-made beer with a distant cousin and several locals at a bar in Allen, Texas
9. Got in trouble for not wearing shoes in a synogogue
10. Sat inside a car made in 1929
11. Listened to the Grateful Dead only station on satellite radio in a Dodge Avenger
12. Danced to a Jonas Brother song with a group of tweenagers
13. Supplied alcohol to minors (dont worry, their parents gave me permission)
14. Ate a chocolate covered strawberry (and didn't like it!)
15. Got to party in a room full of Elvises, Jerry Garcias, Jackie Kennedys, Audrey Hepburns, Scarlett O'Haras, 1920s style gangers, hippies, 50s dancers, flapper girls, Pink Ladies and 80s punk-rockers
During my Aunt Lois' funeral a few months ago I realized how out of touch I had become with my family. Family from Dallas, New Jersey and even local residents gathered to mourn her death, and many I didn't recognize because of years of seperation and lack of contact. That weekend, I made a pledge that in memory of my aunt I would make strides to reconnect with my family. And I did.
The bar mitzvah in Dallas turned into a family reunion of sorts. All three nights I found myself in a hotel hospitality room or at the bar next door laughing myself into tears with my long-lost family. I had become so bored with my life in Atlanta, just going through the motions that I forgot the magic of 'the little things in life.' Thank god I was reminded this weekend.
Now that I am back home, I feel alive again. I am walking around with a smile on my face, chuckling to myself as I recall quips and moments from this weekend. Cousin Jay's impression of Aunt Lois was right on, and my cousin Leslie reminds me of, well, me, seven ago when I too was packing my bags and moving away from home for the first time to go to college. Cousin Ross is well on his way to being the next Jay Leno and Cousin Jay could do a nightly show on the Vegas Strip with his ability to captivate a room with his entertaining stories. For the first time in a long time I was inspired by something other than sports to write about on this blog. I think I saw my Uncle Howard laugh for the first time since losing Aunt Lois.
Ten glasses of wine, 12 cousins, eight meals, two hotel rooms, three sleepless nights, two pairs of VERY uncomfortable of high-healed shoes and one delayed flight later I am re-energized. For the first time in a long time I was too busy laughing with my family to be bothered with TV. And I actually laughed until it hurt so much that all I could do was laugh some more.
My job doesn't seem so awful anymore and my SLOOOOOOOW computer is not making me pull my hair out. Traffic isn't making my skin crawl and my own bed has never been more comfortable. Yes, I have been revitialized this weekend and I needed it.
Thank you to all who attended this weekend for making me laugh and reminding me what it truly means to be happy. I will never forget this weekend. Aunt Lois wouldn't have had it any other way.
** "If I died yesterday, I never would've known about this place." -Aunt Lois ***
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