I hadn't blogged yet this football season. I don't really know why. Maybe it's because I have a job, friends, family and shit to do other than sit around and type this meaningless blog that nobody ever reads. Maybe I didn't start blogging yet this year because Alabama's four wins this season haven't inspired me to do anything other that listen to Kirk Herbstreit talk about how much he loves Bama... well that, and drink beer in celebration because Bama is kicking some major ASS! Not even USC's upset against Washington was enough to bring me back. NOT EVEN the Lane Kiffin vs. Urban Meyer saga got me out of my daze. Not even Ole Miss' fall to the Evil Genious and so on and so on, But then the moment I had been waiting for happened. It actually freakin happened! A college football moment so grand. So perfect. So freakin wonderful that it would inspire me to hit the keyboard again and talk about college football in the way that only I can. It was the day Tebow went down.
Tim Tebow (also known as the Messiah, the greatest QB in the history of college football, the fuckin creme de la creme, the reason for Urben Myer's fat bonus) took a hit so hard that the entire UF nation got rocked. By the reaction of the 100,000 fans at the Swamp, you would have thought it was them that got the wind knocked out of them. Their hero went down so fast, and for a brief and satisfying moment Tebow lay on the gridiron, motionless. The stadium stood in silence, fans wide-eyed with dropped jaws watched in anticipation. "Please get up Tim ... pleeeeeeeeease get up." And then he did. But then he puked -- and a little part of me felt like a kid on Christmas. I mean, he was able to walk off the field. It's not like he died or something. Tebow's parents rushed to the front row. Every single coach, trainer, player and waterboy on UF's payroll huddled together over Tebow, and for the next 24 hours I saw the highlight again and again and again and again and then again. And for Christ's sake. The analysis. C'mon. It's a concussion and a case of the flu. It's not freaking terminal cancer. Ok, ok so you get it. I enjoyed watching Tebow appear human, instead of some holier than thou, macho leader that everyone puts on a pedistool, because he's more than a football player, he's a child of God .... and all that shit ... blah blah blah.
But perhaps the best part of the highlight is Kentucky's reaction to the whole fiasco. Of course, so much of the focus has been on Tebow's well-being, Tebow's head, Tebow's puke, Tebow's ambulance, Tebow's future, that I bet 99 out of 100 people would NOT know the name of the Kentucky player that dealt the nasty blow (except for Kentucky fans of course). Well his name is ... wait, I don't actually know. I am too lazy to look it up right now. Mind you, when the blow happened, it was late in the third quarter. Kentucky was already down 31-7, and Florida was on the edge of the red zone. After the player I will call "The Kentucky Badass" delivered the hit, he jumped for joy as if he had just won the game or something, body thumping and high-fiving his teammates as if the sack actually mattered. But it gets even better. Even after Tebow lay there motionless for awhile, the Kentucky defense continued to celebrate with "The Kentucky Badass." They showed no remorse. Not even an inckling of "Hey that was a great hit, hope he's OK." NOTHING. It was freakin beautiful, almost poetic. It was everything I wanted that moment to be.
Also humorous was the trainers' secret undercover, confidential way of handling a puking Tebow. They gave him a bag to chuck in while he was being carted off. Fine, I get that. Puke is gross and that stuff is better kept off the camera. But they put a towel over his head as he puked, to save him the embarassment of ... hmmm, I dunno, appearing human. God forbid the public see Tebow for what he really is ... a sick kid who just got the shit knocked out of him. And as Tebow was carted off, the entire UF nation experienced the same blow. They watched the rest of their season flash before their very eyes. And they didn't like what they saw. But then, they all breathed again when they heard it was just a concussion and he will likely be fine. Or will he?
And if this isn't one bunch of lucky bastards, I don't know who is, because even if Tebow is out for a week, a FULL freakin week, it wouldn't matter because UF has a bye next week. Well of course they do. Of course they do. Just their freakin luck. Because he will have so much rest between now and their LSU game, he will probably come back stronger than ever. A whole new Tebow. A Tebow, that for once in his God-loving life looked in the face of near failure, and then puked in front of 100,000 adoring fans. A Tebow that lay motionless while his opponents danced on his grave. A Tebow that got to experience being a real human being, if only for a few moments. And those few short moments were enough to move me, inspire me and get me back in the blogging game, even it is because somewhere, deep, DEEP down inside of me, I feel a tad bit sorry for the kid. After all, the hit was a double whammy. A Sack Platter with a side of Back of Head to Knee.
I can't wait until the press conference later this week. Ya know, the one where Tebow will get all fired up and say, "I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO SORRY FOR GETTING SACKED AND THEN HITTING MY HEAD ON MY TEAMMATES KNEE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE ANYBODY PLAY AS HARD AS I WILL FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON!" The reporters will tear up. The guys over at ESPN will piss themselves. The photographers will be moved into a 5-minute standing ovation. God himself will come down from the Heavens ... and a little part of me will die inside.
So Les Miles, get your crew of Cajun misfits ready ... because Tebow is coming to town!
Anyway, this blog entry is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. Something I should be ashamed of because I actually get paid to catch and fix those mistakes, but whatever. This is my blog and I can say and do whatever the hell I want. It's not like anybody is reading it anyway.
Thanks, and until next time ... Roll Tide!
No comments:
Post a Comment